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Tag Archives: Mental Illness

Does He Drink Because He’s Crazy Or

is he crazy because he drinks?~ Me

(This is not about my travels. Obviously.)

I have/had a facebook friend/acquaintance/what have you (Let’s all him Lender.) who for whatever reason(s) has dropped me from his friends twice now. And apparently he has done this to many, many people a number of times. (He was a fellow Pajiban but he has been disowned by the group for reasons that will become apparent.)

He friends you and then the next thing you know, you and he are no longer friends. The first time it happened I wrote to him, wondering if perhaps I had done something to offend him. He said no and some other shit and we became friends again. Then he decided to leave facebook altogether and go to google+ and he friended me there. Then he created a new profile on facebook and friended me there, along with some other previous friends from facebook and google. We started up a nice online friendship but it started to get too close so I explained that I can’t be anything other than friends. I guess that didn’t go over so well because not too long after that I was defriended/unfriended/what have you yet again.

OK, fine. Be like that. Your loss. But I started to hear things and it appears that Lender is losing his mind, I guess. He gets drunk, says wildly inappropriate things (“I would hit that like the fist of God,” in reference to a friend’s picture of her hula-hooping), gets defensive about them (“You…are a pretentious douchenozzle…), and unfriends people. I don’t know if he feels badly the next day and tries to mend bridges but you can only burn them so many times. After that there is no integrity left in anything.

Lender’s brother killed himself almost a year ago so I fear that my friend’s downward spiral is because of that and along with the rumors of his alcoholism, well, I don’t think any of us would be surprised to hear of Lender’s suicide in the next few months.

Please don’t think that we don’t care. When Lender was having to leave facebook because of financial troubles (being evicted and no money for rent much less internet), many Pajibans came to his aid and he was not evicted. But for whatever disturbances in his mind, he dropped and blocked those people. And others and others.

I believe he is mentally ill and needs help but according to the stories of others, he refuses to get it. No AA, no NA, no free counseling, etc. And the worst part? He has a teenage daughter who has been caught up in his online craziness so I fear for her home life. If he won’t do it for himself, shouldn’t he for her? Or do you just get so caught in your own snares and traps that you can’t see what’s going on much less free yourself from them?

He figuratively bit the hands that literally fed him. And how much abuse can friends take before they just say, “Fuck you back, Lender,” in response to his “Fuck you” when you call him on his shit?

I am afraid for him but I’m not going to try and find out what’s going on anymore. He’s a big boy. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a big bottle of booze. And big gun. And that he will leave a big mess.


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